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No set list — they can pull up pretty much any record.
The band reads it out between songs. Nothing goes on screen until they've seen it.
Names only — the occasion says the rest. The band reads every one before it goes anywhere.
Pick the song, tell them who it's for, and the band says it from the stage before they play it.
Optional. This goes to the band's phone, not the big screen — they read it and say it. The screen just shows the occasion and the names.
You're not charged until the band plays it. If they don't, the hold drops off and nothing leaves your account.